Well, it's that time again. The 4th time actually. Or is it the 5th? I can't even keep track anymore. Since starting in 2003 and over the course of a couple different projects, I've wanted to release an album. A few things got in the way: confusion, laziness, and motivation.
I've found usually when beginning something creative, at least musically, I'm confused from the get go. I'm not certain how I want to convey things sonically and emotionally. Do I want to do a concept album? Then I get myred in that particular thought process and end up going in circles. Laziness is human and is birthed in the breeding grounds of an overwhelming maze of obstacles . Motivation is easy when you can identify it, but... perhaps motivation isn't the factor. It's initiative.
First, you have to kill the confusion - and it involves a lot of work. Once you've written the material, you've got to sort through it. Albums should have a consistency. Keep any inconsistent material on the backburner for later. The killer thing is, this is kind of like picking a favorite child or a favorite band. It's always "well, I'd really love to work with that song... the title and lyrics are interesting". I guess that's why they call 'em B-Sides.
Anyway, as with every attempt - I'm very excited. But, I'm more excited than usual and this is because over the past 5 years I feel I've grown musically. Look, I'm not a musician. I'm a hack, and I love what I do. I feel like my influences have come full circle. They've expanded. I have a better ear for what makes a song. I have less interest in creating ambient drones that can't catch your ear. It's all about the craft of songwriting. I'm not a songwriter, I'm a hack. So going in this direction is completely new for me.
It's terrifyingly exciting.
So anyway recently over the course of many months I've been writing. Nothing too particular, just venting really. Recent issues in life have provided inspiration, while past issues will always be relevant in some context. If you checkout the album pics you'll see about 20 scans of lyrics I've written. More than enough for a single album, plenty for a double. The keyword is "indecision". It would be ambitious for me to tackle a double album off the bat, but I could do it. It would just take more time. But is the demand there? For me personally I have no hesitation to do it, so it comes down to what my listeners want. I don't know. I'm sure they just want something an assload better than the crap I've put up the past 5 years. So do I.
The album art is really just an inspired accident, if you could call it that. I recently watched most of the film
Bruiser, a George Romero directed thriller. It's a bit cheesey in some of it's characters, but it has a great premise that kept me interested throughout. It definitely was not a horror movie like I expected. Romero didn't let me down. I just found something profound in the character and the mask he wore. I started to think, it'd be interesting to have a mask of some sort as the cover. Masks are metaphorical for me, for all of us I think. No matter if someone is not a two-faced person, they have their own masks to hide beneath in certain circumstances and opportunities. They're really open to interpretation, and so that's what the album art is about. "Stare Your Rigor Down" as the title is a line I liked from "Fool's Funeral". To me it represents staring in the face of personal diversity, with the numerous facets of yourself as a human - emotionally and mentally.
Looking through all the lyrics I've written, I've realised there is a theme of both ignorance and inadequacy. Not intentional by any means, but recent events inspired most of them. I can't say for sure how this is going to turn out, or if it's going to carry a common theme or be more organic and a bit scattered. I'm not even sure what I want it to sound like. It's going to be a balancing act - like learning to walk a tightrope for the first time. I'm going to fall a lot. But I'll make it to the other side, and I hope to see you there.
With $10 or so.
Quote
"If it moves me then I know it's going to affect somebody else and it's nice to be able to sing a song with your feelings, from your heart."
Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode
I'm pretty sure I'm done writing lyrically, nothing else has come to mind and I haven't felt compelled enough to write anything new. It's all there, ready.
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